Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen

You’ll Never Live This Down

In Prose, Stories, secrets & dreams on July 13, 2012 at 11:00 am

Rodney Phillips and I grew up together. His grandmother and my grandmother were church friends. We lived in the same neighborhood, just two blocks apart. As kids we played stickball, manhole stops, even characters from old movies like Lone Ranger and Tonto or Tarzan. Then we came to 9 and 10 years old. Rodney’s grandparents were going out of town for a funeral, and my grandmother was asked to look after Rodney, just overnight.

The day after they came back I was to take Rodney home. When we got to his building the elevator was open. We got on and before I pressed the floor I wanted a voice said, “Hold the elevator please.” We looked and saw nobody so I pressed the floor I wanted and just as the elevator door opened the person said, “Third floor, please.” It was an elegant lady, heavily made up with a turban on her head. She looked straight ahead and said, “Young man, your laces are untied.” Then Rodney said, “You are not my mama and I ain’t gonna tie them.” She grabbed him by the collar and said “In this elevator I am your mama, you daddy, and the rest of your kin folks.” I looked at Rodney and he was peeing on himself.

We got to our floor. The door opened and Rodney dashed down the hallway and went home. When I reached his apartment, his Grandmother asked me what happened because he ran past her and locked himself in the bathroom. I told her what had happened and I told her some elegant lady roughed up Rodney. She asked me to describe the lady. I did and she laughed. She said, “You boys are coming with me to her apartment to apologize for Rodney’s rudeness.” We got to the apartment and this elegant lady lives in. She opened the door and Rodney said, “That’s her, that’s her!” She said, “Oh, the pisser.” Now I’m going to tell you who this lady was… Miss Nina Simone. Rodney apologized. On our way back to his apartment, I said as long as you live you will never live this down. His grandmother laughed. He was embarrassed.

Fact or fiction?

George Cousins

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